1. You go to church and scout out routes to the ceiling.
2. You climb your friend's fireplace.
3. You know how to get on your roof without a ladder.
4. You begin buying your shoes two sizes too small out of habit.
5. You get mad at having to spend $40 on a pair of Levi's, but don't mind spending $200+ for a pair of Gore-tex.
6. You have no idea why your hands are bleeding.
7. You aerate your lawn with your crampons.
8. Your climbing equipment is worth more than your car.
9. You give up a decent job so you can climb more.
10. Your body is worn out and you need medical attention, but that would take away from your climbing time, so you continue to hobble.
11. When you can't climb, you stoop so low as to read rec.climbing.
12. You insist on eating out in older areas, since the buildings are more "climbable".
13. You notice that the contents of the relic walls in climbing shops is newer than your own rack.
14. When walking down a cracked sidewalk, you're thinking, "That'd be a good hand hold."
15. It hurts to hold onto the steering wheel driving home from climbing.
16. You placed anchors on the side of your 5th story apartment building so you could sleep on your porta-ledge on the weekdays.
17. You bolted the side of your house and it ended up in a local guide book as a 5.9+.
18. You own a $75 dress suit and a $1000 Gore-Tex suit.
19. You have ever frozen your lips to an ice screw while blowing an ice plug at your partner.
20. You have ever used an ice axe to chop weeds in the garden.
21. You've ever had icicles hanging from any part of your face.
22. Your suncream is always in a solid state when you need it the most.
23. What you call cold is not even on most thermometers.
24. You arrive at a climbing gym with stoppers and friends still in your bag.
25. You see a girl in the street and you think: "Hmmm, she's a TD+/5.11...".
26. Your definition of a candlelight dinner is: "Thaw the ice with the candle and put it in the bag of freeze-dry."
27. You hear the name "Hillary" and think of Everest instead of Mrs. Clinton and White House scandals.
28. You don't walk down stairs, you rappel.
29. Your spare bedroom looks like a North Face Outlet.
30. You have more Duct Tape than the hardware store.
31. Your Denali topo is on your living room wall.
32. Your other Denali topo is on your bathroom wall.
33. You start coiling your extension cords the same as you do your ropes.
34. You keep finding carabiners all around your house and in your car.
35. The neighborhood kids throw a frisbee on your roof and you go up the climbing wall attached to the house to get it for them.
36. You feel weird when you're not wearing climbing shoes, harness, and full rack of gear.
37. You refuse to date anyone who doesn't know how to belay.
38. Your REI dividend check could feed an Ethiopian village for ten years.
39. You insist to others that you really buy climbing magazines for the articles.

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